Kids of Divorce

Weird title for a post, no?  Well, this article I just read is why: Kids_of_Divorce

I keep up with various posts on the website "momlogic.com," and their resident clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy Walsh, is the source of many of the blogs I've been reading.  I know what you're thinking: "Courtney, you are not a mom, so why are you looking on that website?"  Silly reader, momlogic is not only for moms.  It's for dads too!  But it's also for anyone else as well, like me for instance.  A broke, confused, unemployed college grad who longs to know her place in the world.  I mean, like, I wish I knew what I want to do with my life, where I want to go, and who I want to be by not having to change much of who and what I already am.

 Dr. Walsh is really enlightening, and I very much enjoy reading her material.  When I saw the title of this article in the "related articles" box, I immediately clicked on it.  The article's full title is "Can Kids of Divorce Have Happy Marriages?" which is something I have been wondering for pretty much my whole life.  I haven't had the best examples when it comes to seeing how marriages are supposed to work, as I've lived with my single mother since I was 3, and my dad's previous marriage was just not something anyone would have wanted to be a part of (I won't go into detail, but he just probably should not have married that woman).  The article goes into the types of partners that people generally look for based on the types of relationships they have with their parents, and another relationship that simply involves observation:

"We all carry an internalized model for how adult relationships should look and feel. And everyone has a different picture of committed love. Many psychologists believe that a kind of blueprint is formed in our minds during our formative years. And that blueprint is a hybrid of three primary relationships:
1. The child's relationship with their father.
2. The child's relationship with their mother.
3. The child's witnessing of his parents' relationship."

Now, I'm no clinical psychologist, but these seem oddly obvious, don't they?  Well, I guess maybe for me since I took and was really into Psychology in High School, but for the #3 primary relationship was something I had always thought about.  I always tell myself that "I won't end up like my parents," not like it's the worst thing in the world, but because of this: my mom is completely satisfied and perfect without a companion.  She is very independent, as she is the oldest of 6 children in her family, so she's used to doing her own thing.  I, on the other hand, really don't like being by myself.  I like having someone both to share my love and also to cuddle up to at night.  And then there's my dad: he also is the oldest of the children in his family, but he's much different than my mom in the fact that he longs for partnership.  He needs someone, which I feel like is why he has been involved in many different relationships throughout my lifetime.  I'm not judging, though, so don't get the wrong impression and think that I'm totally bashing my parents.  They've made their specific relationship work, even though it definitely posed difficulties in their lives and my brother's and my life alike.  Here's where I find myself questioning where I'll end up.  I love both of my parents with my whole heart and have different relationships with both, but I don't want to be like either one of them.  I don't want to be totally fine with being alone, but I don't want to have to need to have a partner, either.

I guess I'll know when I find the right person.  But where and who is this person?  What if I never get to find him?  Will I be okay?

So You Think You Can Dance?

Last night, while watching my fave show ever, "So You Think You Can Dance," I was brought to tears and chills by one of the numbers performed.  Choreographer Stacey Tookey outdid herself once again on the show, and brought me to love and appreciate her work so much more than I already did.  Her piece, set to the song "2 Steps Away" by legend Patti LaBelle, portrayed a woman (Kathryn McCormick) held back by her fear (Legacy Perez).  The piece ultimately was communicating with the audience how people in general are run by their emotions, and with fear being such a strong, withholding, and constricting mental state, it is so easy to connect with this dance, no matter the experience you have or don't have with dancing.  Here is the link for the video on youtube (if anyone can help me just insert a video into my posts, I would very much love that!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Hqa9YJAmQ

I didn't like Legacy much after being introduced to him at his audition and during Vegas week.  He seemed so arrogant (kind of like Kayla Rodomski from Season 5) and why can't he just go by his real name, Jonathan?  Don't call yourself "Legacy" even if other people do; nothing irks me more than something like that.  Be modest about what other people think of you.  Sure, you have talent, but you don't have to take that one extra step into telling everyone that you know you're talented by going along with it and referring to yourself as "Legacy."  Anyway, I still don't like him too much as a person, but I thought that he was so gentle and his movements were so pure, even though he was portraying this blanketing emotion.  Kathryn, on the other hand, is so adorable and too under-the-radar for my liking.  I don't remember her much from auditions or Vegas week, just from the naming of the top 20 episode.  She is a very emotional girl, which I think really helps her in this particular piece, as she can readily portray what she is feeling, and what she is supposed to be feeling.  She has great talent and beautiful lines, and last week she really surprised me when she killed it in her hip hop number (choreographed by Dave Scott, who is also fantastic).  I think she'll be around for awhile, and I'm really excited about it.  Kathryn is a breath of fresh air and will be such an asset to this competition.  I actually would really like to see her partnered up with Jakob, Victor, or Nathan, as these are the strongest male contemporary dancers this season, and they could all bring out the best in each other.  I can't wait for next week!

Let the Wild Rumpus Start! (Where the Wild Things Are, duh!)

So, a few days ago, I was privileged enough to have seen "Where the Wild Things Are," with my dear friend, and fellow blogger, Vanessa (check her stuff out at: http://inthenameofthetangent.blogspot.com/ ).  Being long-time fans of the award-winning children's book, we were both extremely excited to see this movie.  Needless to say, our excitement was well-warranted, as this film was everything we were hoping it would be and more.  Not only were the characters of Max and the "wild things" alike so perfectly portrayed as they are in the book, the story itself offered so much more than I was expecting.  Aside from the fantastic illustrations, the book itself is only composed of 10 sentences, which worried me at first.  But let me be clear: Spike Jonze did not disappoint.

Just like in the book, there is a heavy emphasis on and beautiful portrayal of the human emotion of anger.  Sure, it gets a little tense and maybe even sightly frightening at times, but can you honestly say that you do not know anyone who gets scary when he or she is terribly angry?  Although the "wild things" are merely creatures to us humans, they are well-established in their own "wild thing" community.  They speak English, which is boring and expected, but ultimately just means that Max obviously does not know another language (as they are figments of his own imagination).  The "wild things" also demonstrate how like us they really are when they find time to work together, play together, love together, and get mad at each other and say things they don't mean.  Even though Max is a young boy, he understands the way in which people react to and act toward their peers, which is evident while he is living with the "wild things."

The only time throughout the whole movie that I felt slightly disappointed was when one of the "wild things" gets very very angry with Max and chases him through the forest making insane threats.  The filmography during this part is so raw and realistic that it really makes you feel like you're running with the characters, and you actually find yourself emulating the fear that Max is so clearly feeling at this point.  I was disappointed because I really really want my younger brother, who, ironically, is also named Max, to be able to see this movie, but I just don't think he'd make it through without having a complete meltdown.  He won't even read the book, which I so thoughtfully gave to him for his 6th birthday at the beginning of this past summer.  Hopefully he'll have a change of heart soon, as this book is such a classic and timeless icon of children's literature, and is so necessary for any child's home (and school) library.

It's so funny to me how much of myself I see in Max.  I, too, had quite the imagination as a child, and relentlessly threw tantrums when things did not go my way.  Because of some of the experiences I was forced to go through as a child, I was always thirsty for attention, both from my parents, as well as friends, which is very similar to Max's character.  I had (and still have) the tendency to overreact in certain situations, which pissed people off again and again.  But the one thing I've realized throughout my whole life is that really, no matter what you do or how you act, your family will stand by you and unquestionably love you, and so will those certain individuals who are meant to be your friends.

If you haven't read this book, I highly suggest that you do.  No one should go without having read this throughout his whole life because it would seriously be a tragedy.  Once you read the book, there is no question that you should definitely go grab your ticket to see this movie.  Trust me when I say that, no matter your age, you will both completely enjoy this movie, as well as connect with all of the characters in one way or another.

Glee, the Mash-Up.

So today I finally got around to watching Wednesday's episode of gLee, entitled "Mash-Up," and I've decided that no matter when I end up watching the show, I'm never short of entertainment, and, well, glee.  This show is so clever, endearing, and completely hilarious that it just might be my new favorite show of all time.  I am pleased to say that I know one of the creators of the show, Ian Brennan, as he is an alum of Prospect High School and I used to watch him in PHS's theater productions.  My favorite performance from him was during one of the V-Shows when he was "Little British Boy," and he came out with a ukelele, a picnic basket full of brussel sprouts, and a cute feather hat, kind of like Yankee Doodle Dandy.  I don't remember what he was wearing because I was like, 7, but I remember him speaking in a British accent, him playing his uke at some point, and throwing and eating brussel sprouts.  It was hilarious.  And now he brings his incredible sense of humor and intelligent mind to the rest of the American pubic, which is SO amazing.  No one should be deprived of what this show brings every week.
Since I'm so enthralled with this show, especially Mr. Will Schuester and Noah "Puck" Puckerman, I've taken it upon myself to present to you, my beloved reader, my favorite and the most memorable quotes from this week's episode.  They are written below, and let me just say, thank God for my TiVo! =)

EMMA:
"Sunglasses are so sexy."

NOAH:
"Are you questioning my badassedness?  Have you seen these guns?"
"It's my personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon."
"(Noah): 'It's cool, I was gonna break up with you anyway.'
(Rachel): 'No, you weren't.'
(Noah): 'Yes, I was.  You won't even let me touch your boobs.'"
"God, what's the matter with me?  I'm a stud, and I can't even hold on to a chick like you.  No offense..."

SUE:
"I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage.  Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling."
"SCHUESTER!  I'll need to see that set list for sectionals after all.  I want it on my desk, warm from the laminater at 5 pm, and if it is ONE minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat.  I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat, and then on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the FACE!"

KURT:
"Someone get me to a day spa, STAT!"
(Rachel): "'Thank you for the slushies, Finn.  They're delicious.'
(Kurt):  And loaded with empty calories.  You know why they call them slushies, don't you?  Because your butt looks like one if you have too many of them." 

NEWSMAN RON:
"I can't be caged in, Sue.  That's why I got my tiger tattoo."

All I'm looking forward to in the next 7 days is the upcoming episode of Glee, and finding out if I'm scheduled to work on Halloween.  I'm really hoping I'm not because I just don't want to.  =)

Last Name, First Name

So, while perusing Oprah's website today (I'm on her weekly newsletter mailing list - don't judge), I came across an interesting blog/article with a subject that I hadn't really thought much about.  The title of it was "What's In A Name?" and it talked about how women, more often than not, change their last name when they get married, as they take on their new husband's surname.  I think it said that 80% of women change, while the other 20% keep their maiden name, which is really a significant difference if you ask me.  And I'm actually not that surprised that so many more women take on their husband's name because of a few reasons that I can think of: 1) They're starting a life and family together; 2) Some men probably find it offensive and get pissed if their new wives refuse to take their last name; 3) Women think that they have to, as it is usually what happens 4) It's most likely what their mothers did.  I'm sure that there are other reasons as to why women take on their husband's last name, but I can't think of any other reasons that aren't pretty much the same as what I already said.

The reason I felt so compelled to write a response to this article is because I don't know what I would choose to do on the occasion of my marriage.  I mean, I probably would end up taking my husband's name, which is fine because I don't want any fighting, but I feel like I'd always wonder what it would be like to be "Courtney Cohen" for the rest of my life.  I love my name.  Yeah, it's not that original (unless you add in my kickass middle name), but it's what I've known for the past 22 years (well, 23 tomorrow).  And it also has perfect alliteration, and if you know me, you know how much I love grammar and most grammatical devices.  And, you can pretty much insert any type of profanity in between my first and last names (i.e. Courtney "f-ing" Cohen - that happened one time. I'm not condoning it in any way, though, so don't get any ideas!). Oh, and Courtney Kehaulani Cohen has 24 letters in it and I really like even numbers; although, it would be cool if I had 25 letters in my name, but I digress.

I think I'm thinking so much about this because 2 of my closest friends are getting married in slightly over a year (which I STILL cannot believe) and I know that they'll take on their hubbys' last names.  Which is fine.  I mean, who am I to judge?  And it's not like I would be able to sway them either way, so it's whatever.  But I think it'll be weird at first, especially for me with my friend Kim since I've known her longer.  Is it weird that I'm so concerned about this?  After all, what is in a name?  A name is just something that someone can use to discern you from another human being, right?  It's not the soul of your identity, is it?  My mom told me one time that before I was born, she was deciding between 2 names, the other being "Larissa."  Now I like that name, don't get me wrong, but, because you know me already, could you picture calling me "Lara" since that would be my nickname?  No, you can't, because I am Courtney, and Courtney is who I am.  Plus, Larissa sounds waaaaay too much like Clarissa, as in "Clarissa Explains It All," as in Melissa Joan Hart.  And terrible fashion from the early 90's.

Back to my earlier point, though.  No, it i don't think it matters what name you take, even if you're afraid of losing the identity you've spent so long building and owning.  But who says that you can't ever create a new identity for yourself, especially when you're starting a new life with someone, right?  Another question I have is for the men who read this (which I'm sure there aren't tons of people who read my blog anyway): Given the occasion of marriage, would you opt to change your last name for that of your new wife's?  How many men would honestly be willing to make that move, especially since someone, somewhere, ultimately decided that taking the male's last name is basically the only option for newlyweds?  There's something to think about, huh.

Things that bother me. Don't worry, though. I'm not always this negative.

One of my classes I was forced to take junior year was all about children's literary development and focused mostly on writing.  We were required to keep a journal that we had to write in like 3 times a week or something.  I don't really remember, but it was annoying nonetheless.  So, with these journals, we were supposed to write entries that were in the format of different writing techniques (which we eventually would utilize with our students in the classroom - see, it's all connected).  One technique, the easiest of them all, and the one that I happened to use way too frequently, was the "List" technique (or format... whatever).  It also is the only one that that I can really remember, aside from just a normal "Dear Journal ... Love, Self" type of thing.  Because of this, I will share a blog entry in this format.

Things That Bother Me: (oh, and with the list format, you always had to implement some sort of title in order to inform the reader [who was pretty much always just yourself] what this list was supposed to be about)

Things That Bother Me:

-Cold weather

-Poor grammar, both written and spoken

 --this includes especially when people use the wrong there/their/they're, your/you're, its/it's and when there are commas and apostrophes just thrown into sentences and words when the word should not be used in its (not it's, since that means "it is") possessive form.  How do people who have graduated from, oh I don't know, 8th grade, still not know the correct form of these words?  It's like, "Excuse me, sir?  You're (you are) 37.  Are you serious right now?  I hate you so much and you look like a huge idiot, just so you know."  And I could actually go on with this one, but there's no use.  People will continue to be ignorant and look so effing stupid that they are (they're) beyond my help.

-When people tell me or give me shit about my room not being neat and tidy.  You don't have to live in it, so shut the hell up and let me live in my cluttered room.  Clearly I'm fine with it.

-When it rains and people associate that with snow so they drive like morons and go 10 UNDER the speed limit.  Are you kidding me?

-When I'm driving and my mom is in the passenger seat.  I never hear the end of how horrible of a driver I am and how she's surprised that I haven't rear ended more cars.  Shut up, Mom.  I don't criticize the way you drive, even though I really could.

-Mafia Wars.  Yeah, that stupid game on Facebook.  I was pretty much forced to play it, and now I can't stop because it's so addicting.  It also bothers me that strangers attack me for no effing reason, therefore causing more people to attack me because I've died like 15 times and I've lost over 200 fights while I've only won about 50.  Yeah, it's embarrassing, I know.

-When people use the word "retarded" to describe someone or something in a negative way.  Do I need to go on with this one?  Didn't think so, jerks.

-Winter.  Just the whole season in general, minus the choice holidays that happen to occur during this season.

-When people don't understand or appreciate my awesome use of sarcasm.  I'm sorry that you have a terrible sense of humor.

-When people's closets aren't color coded.  How do you know where anything is if it's all over the place color wise?

-That I have the worst time trying to keep my car clean.  It's so awful and I just hate myself for that.

-That I still live at home.  Don't even get me started on how much I wish I had enough money to move out right now!

-Jon Gosselin.

-High schoolers who feel the incessant need to binge drink all the time.  You're not cool and you'll probably get fat before you get to college.

-Models.  Why are they so tall? (see previous post re: tall models and small shoes)

-Sales tax in Illinois, especially Cook County.  RIDICULOUS!

-The fact that people always talk about the size of my butt.  Yes, it's big (and fricken perfect) but leave me alone about it.

Ew, it's time for me to go to work so I'm going to have to peace out.  Don't worry, though.  I might add to this later.

Oh I'll just be fine with a salad, thanks.

No I won't.  Want to know why?  I'll tell you.

So when I was at the grocery store the other day, I bought a "spring mix" to make salads with because I really like salads.  And I make bomb ass salads.  But that's beside the point.  The reason I felt so compelled to report about this salad is this:

THERE IS CILANTRO IN THIS SPRING MIX.

No, I'm not joking.  Or exaggerating.  Or lying.  Or whatever.  I know what cilantro looks and tastes like.  Cilantro is an herb, right?  Why is it included in a mixture of different types of lettuce?  I like it in guacamole.  And the rice from Chipotle.  And other MEXICAN food.  Not a salad, for Christ's sake.  Now I'm pissed and left feeling really unsatisfied with my lunch.  And also really confused.  WHY WAS THERE CILANTRO WITH MY LETTUCE?!  I just wish someone could answer my question about why there is cilantro in this mix.  WAHHHHH. =(

What's so good about 90210? Why not have a show called "60067"?

So yesterday and today I was finally able to do some much needed catching up with my TiVo'd shows.  Hallelujah, right? Okay, wrong for several reasons, but one in particular: On last week's ep of 90210, Navid and Adrianna FINALLY get it on (and thank GOD because otherwise Navid's head was going to spin around like in the exorcist or something).  The thing that bothered me about it was the fact that there was SO much heavy breathing going on before there was even any action.  Adrianna, you can't start panting before you even start kissing.  I mean, come on.  Get it together.  The other thing that bothered me was when they showed the previews for "Next week on '90210'" and OH.MY.GOD.  The highlight of the sneak peeks was this:

Silver: "Um, Adrianna.  Look at Naomi."

Adrianna:  *gasp* "OMG, she's wearing sweatpants.  Why is Naomi wearing sweatpants?!"

   -end scene-

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.  That's seriously the biggest part of the plot for next week?  I swear, I am this close to quitting this show.  Well, actually, probably not, but I can at least threaten to end my loyalty to Annie Naomi/Silver/Adrianna and the rest of the bitches.

So, this week, Naomi found out she's too stupid to get into her dream university to rush her favorite sorority, so now she's going into some weird depression (hence: sweatpants at school!!!).  She needs more extracurriculars, so now she's joining the "go green" club or something.  Would anyone actually believe that this bitch cares about the environment?  She buys everything in sight that's probably made at factories that pollute the air, etc.  Naomi's pretending to care, so, to look the part, she brings a bike and helmet in the backseat of her convertible and pours a bottle of water into a reusable aluminum bottle.  She's so full of shit.  I wish I could just punch her in the face while wearing sweats ALL YEAR ROUND!

Anyway, I keep seeing commercials for "Where the Wild Things Are," so now I'm in a better mood.  I just can't wait for that movie to come out!! =)

Cuckoo for CocoFace

That was almost the title of my blog. But, if you know me at all, "Some Semblance of Sanity" fits me better.

So anyway, yesterday I'm at the mall with 2 great people. =) We had a nice lunch at Cheesecake Factory and then did some shopping, where I ended up purchasing a really fierce pair of tall, leather, black heeled boots. These happen to be my first pair of knee-high boots, so I'm pretty effing excited to bust them out in the coming weeks once winter hits. Gross, but at least I'll look hot.

Then, we walk past Woodfield's ridiculous-sized Victoria's Secret store, and I must just interject into the main idea of this part of my day and say that I'm really proud of myself for not feeling compelled to always go into that store when I pass it anymore. Yay me! Okay, so right, we're walking past this uncomfortably huge VS, and there's this sign that says there's some sort of model search for the VS fashion show that occurs every year, which I completely love to watch, even though it makes me both really depressed and hate myself slightly because I don't look like these models. But anyway, I got excited for 2 reasons: 1) VS needs models. HELLO! I'm totally pretty enough to model for this bitch Victoria and whatever her secret is. 2) The VS fashion show is soon! Well, not soon soon because it's not until December, but it's still soon. Yay, something else to look forward to! =) Then, disappointment sets in: I'm only 5'3" and OBVIOUSLY that's nowhere near tall enough to strut my hot self down that sweet runway because someone somewhere made some unspoken rule that models have to be at least 5'9 or something. I'm sorry, but how many graceful women are there that are at least 5'9 and reasonably good looking? I feel like 5'3 is quite the average height in this world, so who says women my height can't model? I mean, really, why do you have to be so tall? That's kind of like when you go shoe shopping and all of the display shoes are size 6. The average shoe size is, I'm pretty sure, an 8, which happens to be my size (holler!) so why aren't those shoes on display? People who model are, at the shortest, 5'9, and you KNOW those giants can't fit their ski feet into size 6 shoes. Size 6 shoes are cuter because they're small, so that's why they are on display in stores, right? Why doesn't the same apply to models? Smaller = cuter. Get used to it!

Oh well, even though I'm sure I can't change the mind of the fashion industry, I can still look taller and feel super beautiful when I'm wearing my brand new boots.