Last Name, First Name

So, while perusing Oprah's website today (I'm on her weekly newsletter mailing list - don't judge), I came across an interesting blog/article with a subject that I hadn't really thought much about.  The title of it was "What's In A Name?" and it talked about how women, more often than not, change their last name when they get married, as they take on their new husband's surname.  I think it said that 80% of women change, while the other 20% keep their maiden name, which is really a significant difference if you ask me.  And I'm actually not that surprised that so many more women take on their husband's name because of a few reasons that I can think of: 1) They're starting a life and family together; 2) Some men probably find it offensive and get pissed if their new wives refuse to take their last name; 3) Women think that they have to, as it is usually what happens 4) It's most likely what their mothers did.  I'm sure that there are other reasons as to why women take on their husband's last name, but I can't think of any other reasons that aren't pretty much the same as what I already said.

The reason I felt so compelled to write a response to this article is because I don't know what I would choose to do on the occasion of my marriage.  I mean, I probably would end up taking my husband's name, which is fine because I don't want any fighting, but I feel like I'd always wonder what it would be like to be "Courtney Cohen" for the rest of my life.  I love my name.  Yeah, it's not that original (unless you add in my kickass middle name), but it's what I've known for the past 22 years (well, 23 tomorrow).  And it also has perfect alliteration, and if you know me, you know how much I love grammar and most grammatical devices.  And, you can pretty much insert any type of profanity in between my first and last names (i.e. Courtney "f-ing" Cohen - that happened one time. I'm not condoning it in any way, though, so don't get any ideas!). Oh, and Courtney Kehaulani Cohen has 24 letters in it and I really like even numbers; although, it would be cool if I had 25 letters in my name, but I digress.

I think I'm thinking so much about this because 2 of my closest friends are getting married in slightly over a year (which I STILL cannot believe) and I know that they'll take on their hubbys' last names.  Which is fine.  I mean, who am I to judge?  And it's not like I would be able to sway them either way, so it's whatever.  But I think it'll be weird at first, especially for me with my friend Kim since I've known her longer.  Is it weird that I'm so concerned about this?  After all, what is in a name?  A name is just something that someone can use to discern you from another human being, right?  It's not the soul of your identity, is it?  My mom told me one time that before I was born, she was deciding between 2 names, the other being "Larissa."  Now I like that name, don't get me wrong, but, because you know me already, could you picture calling me "Lara" since that would be my nickname?  No, you can't, because I am Courtney, and Courtney is who I am.  Plus, Larissa sounds waaaaay too much like Clarissa, as in "Clarissa Explains It All," as in Melissa Joan Hart.  And terrible fashion from the early 90's.

Back to my earlier point, though.  No, it i don't think it matters what name you take, even if you're afraid of losing the identity you've spent so long building and owning.  But who says that you can't ever create a new identity for yourself, especially when you're starting a new life with someone, right?  Another question I have is for the men who read this (which I'm sure there aren't tons of people who read my blog anyway): Given the occasion of marriage, would you opt to change your last name for that of your new wife's?  How many men would honestly be willing to make that move, especially since someone, somewhere, ultimately decided that taking the male's last name is basically the only option for newlyweds?  There's something to think about, huh.