Kids of Divorce

Weird title for a post, no?  Well, this article I just read is why: Kids_of_Divorce

I keep up with various posts on the website "momlogic.com," and their resident clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy Walsh, is the source of many of the blogs I've been reading.  I know what you're thinking: "Courtney, you are not a mom, so why are you looking on that website?"  Silly reader, momlogic is not only for moms.  It's for dads too!  But it's also for anyone else as well, like me for instance.  A broke, confused, unemployed college grad who longs to know her place in the world.  I mean, like, I wish I knew what I want to do with my life, where I want to go, and who I want to be by not having to change much of who and what I already am.

 Dr. Walsh is really enlightening, and I very much enjoy reading her material.  When I saw the title of this article in the "related articles" box, I immediately clicked on it.  The article's full title is "Can Kids of Divorce Have Happy Marriages?" which is something I have been wondering for pretty much my whole life.  I haven't had the best examples when it comes to seeing how marriages are supposed to work, as I've lived with my single mother since I was 3, and my dad's previous marriage was just not something anyone would have wanted to be a part of (I won't go into detail, but he just probably should not have married that woman).  The article goes into the types of partners that people generally look for based on the types of relationships they have with their parents, and another relationship that simply involves observation:

"We all carry an internalized model for how adult relationships should look and feel. And everyone has a different picture of committed love. Many psychologists believe that a kind of blueprint is formed in our minds during our formative years. And that blueprint is a hybrid of three primary relationships:
1. The child's relationship with their father.
2. The child's relationship with their mother.
3. The child's witnessing of his parents' relationship."

Now, I'm no clinical psychologist, but these seem oddly obvious, don't they?  Well, I guess maybe for me since I took and was really into Psychology in High School, but for the #3 primary relationship was something I had always thought about.  I always tell myself that "I won't end up like my parents," not like it's the worst thing in the world, but because of this: my mom is completely satisfied and perfect without a companion.  She is very independent, as she is the oldest of 6 children in her family, so she's used to doing her own thing.  I, on the other hand, really don't like being by myself.  I like having someone both to share my love and also to cuddle up to at night.  And then there's my dad: he also is the oldest of the children in his family, but he's much different than my mom in the fact that he longs for partnership.  He needs someone, which I feel like is why he has been involved in many different relationships throughout my lifetime.  I'm not judging, though, so don't get the wrong impression and think that I'm totally bashing my parents.  They've made their specific relationship work, even though it definitely posed difficulties in their lives and my brother's and my life alike.  Here's where I find myself questioning where I'll end up.  I love both of my parents with my whole heart and have different relationships with both, but I don't want to be like either one of them.  I don't want to be totally fine with being alone, but I don't want to have to need to have a partner, either.

I guess I'll know when I find the right person.  But where and who is this person?  What if I never get to find him?  Will I be okay?

So You Think You Can Dance?

Last night, while watching my fave show ever, "So You Think You Can Dance," I was brought to tears and chills by one of the numbers performed.  Choreographer Stacey Tookey outdid herself once again on the show, and brought me to love and appreciate her work so much more than I already did.  Her piece, set to the song "2 Steps Away" by legend Patti LaBelle, portrayed a woman (Kathryn McCormick) held back by her fear (Legacy Perez).  The piece ultimately was communicating with the audience how people in general are run by their emotions, and with fear being such a strong, withholding, and constricting mental state, it is so easy to connect with this dance, no matter the experience you have or don't have with dancing.  Here is the link for the video on youtube (if anyone can help me just insert a video into my posts, I would very much love that!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31Hqa9YJAmQ

I didn't like Legacy much after being introduced to him at his audition and during Vegas week.  He seemed so arrogant (kind of like Kayla Rodomski from Season 5) and why can't he just go by his real name, Jonathan?  Don't call yourself "Legacy" even if other people do; nothing irks me more than something like that.  Be modest about what other people think of you.  Sure, you have talent, but you don't have to take that one extra step into telling everyone that you know you're talented by going along with it and referring to yourself as "Legacy."  Anyway, I still don't like him too much as a person, but I thought that he was so gentle and his movements were so pure, even though he was portraying this blanketing emotion.  Kathryn, on the other hand, is so adorable and too under-the-radar for my liking.  I don't remember her much from auditions or Vegas week, just from the naming of the top 20 episode.  She is a very emotional girl, which I think really helps her in this particular piece, as she can readily portray what she is feeling, and what she is supposed to be feeling.  She has great talent and beautiful lines, and last week she really surprised me when she killed it in her hip hop number (choreographed by Dave Scott, who is also fantastic).  I think she'll be around for awhile, and I'm really excited about it.  Kathryn is a breath of fresh air and will be such an asset to this competition.  I actually would really like to see her partnered up with Jakob, Victor, or Nathan, as these are the strongest male contemporary dancers this season, and they could all bring out the best in each other.  I can't wait for next week!