Kids of Divorce

Weird title for a post, no?  Well, this article I just read is why: Kids_of_Divorce

I keep up with various posts on the website "momlogic.com," and their resident clinical psychologist, Dr. Wendy Walsh, is the source of many of the blogs I've been reading.  I know what you're thinking: "Courtney, you are not a mom, so why are you looking on that website?"  Silly reader, momlogic is not only for moms.  It's for dads too!  But it's also for anyone else as well, like me for instance.  A broke, confused, unemployed college grad who longs to know her place in the world.  I mean, like, I wish I knew what I want to do with my life, where I want to go, and who I want to be by not having to change much of who and what I already am.

 Dr. Walsh is really enlightening, and I very much enjoy reading her material.  When I saw the title of this article in the "related articles" box, I immediately clicked on it.  The article's full title is "Can Kids of Divorce Have Happy Marriages?" which is something I have been wondering for pretty much my whole life.  I haven't had the best examples when it comes to seeing how marriages are supposed to work, as I've lived with my single mother since I was 3, and my dad's previous marriage was just not something anyone would have wanted to be a part of (I won't go into detail, but he just probably should not have married that woman).  The article goes into the types of partners that people generally look for based on the types of relationships they have with their parents, and another relationship that simply involves observation:

"We all carry an internalized model for how adult relationships should look and feel. And everyone has a different picture of committed love. Many psychologists believe that a kind of blueprint is formed in our minds during our formative years. And that blueprint is a hybrid of three primary relationships:
1. The child's relationship with their father.
2. The child's relationship with their mother.
3. The child's witnessing of his parents' relationship."

Now, I'm no clinical psychologist, but these seem oddly obvious, don't they?  Well, I guess maybe for me since I took and was really into Psychology in High School, but for the #3 primary relationship was something I had always thought about.  I always tell myself that "I won't end up like my parents," not like it's the worst thing in the world, but because of this: my mom is completely satisfied and perfect without a companion.  She is very independent, as she is the oldest of 6 children in her family, so she's used to doing her own thing.  I, on the other hand, really don't like being by myself.  I like having someone both to share my love and also to cuddle up to at night.  And then there's my dad: he also is the oldest of the children in his family, but he's much different than my mom in the fact that he longs for partnership.  He needs someone, which I feel like is why he has been involved in many different relationships throughout my lifetime.  I'm not judging, though, so don't get the wrong impression and think that I'm totally bashing my parents.  They've made their specific relationship work, even though it definitely posed difficulties in their lives and my brother's and my life alike.  Here's where I find myself questioning where I'll end up.  I love both of my parents with my whole heart and have different relationships with both, but I don't want to be like either one of them.  I don't want to be totally fine with being alone, but I don't want to have to need to have a partner, either.

I guess I'll know when I find the right person.  But where and who is this person?  What if I never get to find him?  Will I be okay?